So the past 2 days have not been too bright for me. A few messages or rather just lines of text I read here and there, made me rather upset because I thought it was referring to me. That might not be the case, though it could be possible because I know the person who wrote those words. And the person clearly wasn't in a very happy mood.
But now that I've sort of had a little time to reflect on things, I realise it doesn't really matter all that much. Well, not exactly. If those words are indeed referring to me, then I should be concerned. But what I'm saying is that what I came up with totally invalidates whether it is about me or not. Because it doesn't really matter a whole lot, when I have made up my mind to change myself and improve for the better! You get where I'm going? It's the simple logic of whether I made mistakes or not, as long as I improve and transform myself to start anew, it would address the situation (if it is me), or else it would just make me a better person.
I really hate being in an emo mood, which is quite often these days. But the great thing that happens is that I usually come out from it stronger and more aware of things I hadn't previously put attention into. In all my emo self-closure, it also allows for some profound self-reflection and thinking.
Now that we are done with the first part, enjoy an old song by The Corrs. I actually never knew they existed, despite having heard some of their old songs before. Here is a great full orchestra performance by them.
I actually don't know what it was that put me into the emo state in the first place. I mean, I was originally on the path of training and transformation remember? "Mind.Body.Soul" was the slogan not too many posts ago. And then suddenly, barely a few posts later I became the sad sour puss that you had to endure. So sorry, I apologize. It seems that I'm alot more affected by my surroundings then I think. I'm not invincible you know? As much as I'd like to be, guess I'm not. I am very much a vulnerable human being like everyone else, and I have feelings too.
I guess this constitutes the "Soul" part of "Mind.Body.Soul" the Soul Factor was just missing to begin with. I though I could try different ways to fill the void, or to numb the feeling and forget about it. Guess I was dead wrong. It is neigh impossible for any human being to do so. That was when I finally found the missing piece of the puzzle. The need for a companion along this long treacherous journey to perfection. I simply don't think it is possible to make it through alone. It is way too tough, even for the most resourceful of people. Hence the quote "No man is an Island". So, I await eagerly for the start of lessons once again, so that I may try to have a companion to fill the void the is eating into my soul.
In other news, I've slipped quite badly. I let the lack of the soul factor affect me too badly that I couldn't even train the other factors "Mind" and "Body" too. Being emo has such negative consequences. This is also another weakness I've noticed about myself. I am a visionary, in the sense that I'm excellent at planning really far ahead into the future. I see something or some person, and I can already imagine what the perfect future will look like. But my weakness is that I lose sight of my goals easily, and in planning the distant future, I neglect to plan my current actions, or the immediate future if you will. I mean, it's one thing to paint a perfect picture of the future and all. But if we don't take actions and proactive steps to make it happen, will it likely be fulfilled?
Hence, I shall resume training immediately tomorrow, and probably also start a schedule for studying and revising my old work in preparation for the new semester.
And so, in closure there are a number of things I have learnt these couple of days, and this post is really to put things in perspective. Firstly, that every human being has feelings, and I'm not excluded from that, regardless of how tightly I tend to guard my emotions and not show any. And that the best solution is simply to get a friend, or more friends. Next, that perfection is a journey and not an outcome, and that it is just as important to plan for the present as it is to plan for the future. And finally, I should try to have alot more confidence in myself and not be so easily affected and become upset over small details and focus on the bigger goals in life. It's not that those things are insignificant or don't matter, but rather by simply improving ourselves in general, we can overcome past mistakes. From numerous past experiences, it seems that it is always better to look forward to the future rather than dwell too much on old memories.
Lastly, I would like to thank my blog readers, if any, for even reading a single word I typed. I know it's a whole load of crap at times, but you somehow bared with it. Having this imaginary platform for sharing feelings is really comforting. It sort of provides some painkillers to fill the void that is the empty Soul Factor. So Thanks!
I would like to end of with a little justification to my preference of J-Pop over K-Pop, which I'm sure many people are unhappy about. Here are 2 videos of a famous Japanese song that got ripped off by the Koreans (I mean cover). Just listen to both versions. I'm sure audiophiles and listeners with a good ear can easily discern which version is better.
Here's the Korean version by Park Hyo Shin:
Here is the original Japanese version done by Mika Nakashima:
Oh come on! It's not even close!
The original singer beats the lousy copycat by a mile! I mean she has such a beautiful voice, and honestly the lyrics sound so much better in Japanese, but that might be just because I'm biased. lol
Alright, finished typing this on my laptop at 3.30AM in the morning.
GOODNIGHT! =)
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