Come to think of it, now that it is the holidays I don't really have much to post about.
There is no super stressful workload to complain about. No endless sleepless nights to rant on.
No awkward scenarios to reflect upon. And sadly, less social interactions with people. It's kind of sad actually... It feels worse than digital isolation. I am just going back to my old gaming addictions.
And that's the purpose of this post today. To discuss about moving from one addiction to another. Namely Gaming. While it is me simply going back to old ways, it just doesn't feel the same anymore. It somehow seems that... I've Changed? What? Really? Hmm. I guess meeting different people will have different impact on our lives. We are constantly influenced by the people we interact with and the places we go to. And apparently, despite my resistance to change, I'm no exception. Sometimes, one thing or one person can just change your entire life.
Problem is I'm not even sure. Like, the change feels like a great step in the positive direction, but then comes the fear of falling. It's like going "all-in" on something. And don't get me wrong, I really want to. But what if the hope you are holding so dearly onto, just end up failing? What if someone comes along and burst your bubble? What if in the very end, you realise it's all wishful thinking? There sure are alot of "what-if"s. BUT, what if we ignore all these fears and just blindly hold out faith and hope and move forward anyways? Will that be the best possible outcome? Will there be a happy ending in the end?
What? No hope, no love, no glory, No Happy Ending? I sure hope not!! :s
Beautiful song from Mika, it's just a real pity the lyrics is the opposite of what I'm really hoping for.
I guess that's what could happen if it all falls apart.
Regardless, as some of you might know, I'm the kind of person who refuses to give up. So I guess my decision here would be to continue to hold on to my blind faith and continue pushing forwards. Everything I do, I will always do it for HER. Whether or not I eventually end up with that special someone. I guess I could rationalise the decision as me striving hard for myself, but I realised such egoistic thinking can only motivate you so far. Some things need that extra motivational boost to get to the next level. (From my Observer Analysis)
So what are my plans now?
Tomorrow, I shall go ahead with my previously planned rigorous exercise regime. It's about time I lost some weight and get in shape. Gotta keep up with the competition you know. Next, I'm finally gonna go finish up my driving lessons! That bloody annoying thing has stretched up and been put off for way too long. I need to quickly clear it and be done with it. In addition to my physical training, I think I ought to keep my mind in good shape as well. As soon as I can contact my friend, I shall get him to give me an introductory lesson on Java programming, to jump start the module I'll be taking next year. Gotta be ahead of the competition in this aspect. At the same time, I shall be signing up for several online courses, such as Photoshop and Japanese. Can't let my mind rot away again!
This is my strategy for progress.
Mind-Body-Soul
The 3 dimensional approach to perfection.
There is a reason I typed all this here. Is so I hold myself to it!! I'm not gonna let myself procrastinate away my future again! What's gotta be done, gotta be done.
Lastly, I would like to end off this Mega Post with one point which some might have missed. I've only mentioned 2 of the 3 dimensions in detail. I'm pretty sure you can make an intelligent guess what the other 1 is, by reading the front parts of this post. That is what I would really like to have. In order to attain the "Soul" aspect of my life. But only time will tell if it will happen for me.
Where does that leave my gaming addiction? Well, I realised there isn't much time left to fit that in eh? Well, I'll just have to slot it into the free slot left over. I'm training up my time management skills. Or I might just play lesser or not play at all. After all, the friend I was hoping would join me in gaming seems to be caught up in another game. All the more reason to quit eh? Well, we shall see.
So, I shall leave you with one question today.
What do you want to do with you life?
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
I'm Back!
Yeah yeah, I'm back. Did you miss me? :P
So anyway, a brief exam report.
Let me tell you, it's been one heck of a rough time these past days...
It turns out university exams are not your typical exams. Big surprise huh?
My only hope left is that everyone taking the same modules as me don't do too well. It might be alot to hope for, but if that happens, I might actually do alright.... I hope.
Actually the main problem I found was my lack of proper time management, or you could say I didn't understand everything well enough to have them at my fingertips. But I can argue against that. I knew how to do everything for my "best module", and yet couldn't complete the paper! Perhaps the lack of more practice?
I guess this means I'm gonna have to really slug it out from next semester all the way to Graduation. I'm anxious yet nervous to find out my results. These results will determine what I do for the next 4 years! I really hate the cumulative system. D:
Oh well. Bottom line, I don't think I did too well. Certainly not the best I could do. But that's what you get for doing lat minute work. So, enough about exam rants. I got loads more to say!
In other news, I'm set and ready for another rough semester ahead! At least that's what I originally thought. 2 programming modules, a math module, economics, and a presentation heavy module. But now that I think about it, it's really not the worst. I know people doing equal or worse combinations. Besides, that would mean I get to meet up with my friend everyday! Mega Yay! :D
Even more updates: The last 2 weeks did wonders as a rehab to kick my addiction. And we all know I'm talking about Element G here. I wouldn't say it's completely gone (coz I can't live without it!), but certainly things are looking much brighter. In terms of supplies, I have completely fallen out with Brand C. My once favored supplier, just fell off the face of the earth, never to be found again. Hence, I have made up my mind to cut things clean and not prolong any losses to both sides (well, mainly my side). It wasn't really working out anyways, Brand C's goals and objectives didn't really integrate well with mine. So, sad to say but our partnership has to end here.
On the brighter side of things, I have firmly cemented myself as a prominent customer of Brand J in these recent weeks. If all things go smoothly, I will expect to receive my constant supplies of Element G starting next year. My goal of course, is to finally land a contract for Brand J to be my permanent supplier of Element G. For this to work, I think both parties have to take initiatives and steps to make things happen, but we shall see how that goes.
Hmm... 2 weeks worth of blogging. So much to say, I can't really seem to get it all out now. I'm afraid I might actually have forgotten some of the things I wanted to say! But I'll post it up as soon as it comes to might. Over the course of these few days.... Provided I'm not gaming.
YES! Gaming! Ooooooh Yes! It feels sooooo good! I've been feeling so stressed and deprived these few weeks. Hard Slogging and mugging totally screws with your life. The best immediate outlet now is games! And outings of course. But noone has asked me yet. :( I'll have to make some plans I guess.
OMG! SUCH A FREAKING LONG READ! If you are still reading this, I congratulate you. I spent a super long time typing this. But it is already considered a brief summary of events in the past 2 weeks. There are actually more stuffz, but I either can't recall it now, or I am too sleepy to type it out.
Main Point of the post? EXAMS ARE FREAKIN OVER, MAN! CELEBRATE!!
The lyrics of this song is just so suitable for the occasion!
How so? Alright for you dummies, a quick explanation:
Throw it away: My textbooks & Notes
Forget yesterday: Forget about the stupid exams
We'll make the great escape: basically just taking a break or 'escape' from it all (school work)
We won't hear a word they say
They don't know us anyway: um... I guess it's all the 'nay-sayers' and basically anyone who looks down on you/you hate
Watch it burn Let it die: let's set those textbooks & notes on fire baby! Burn!!!
Cause we are finally free tonight: I really don't think I need to explain this... o.o
Cause we are finally free tonight!!!
So anyway, a brief exam report.
Let me tell you, it's been one heck of a rough time these past days...
It turns out university exams are not your typical exams. Big surprise huh?
My only hope left is that everyone taking the same modules as me don't do too well. It might be alot to hope for, but if that happens, I might actually do alright.... I hope.
Actually the main problem I found was my lack of proper time management, or you could say I didn't understand everything well enough to have them at my fingertips. But I can argue against that. I knew how to do everything for my "best module", and yet couldn't complete the paper! Perhaps the lack of more practice?
I guess this means I'm gonna have to really slug it out from next semester all the way to Graduation. I'm anxious yet nervous to find out my results. These results will determine what I do for the next 4 years! I really hate the cumulative system. D:
Oh well. Bottom line, I don't think I did too well. Certainly not the best I could do. But that's what you get for doing lat minute work. So, enough about exam rants. I got loads more to say!
In other news, I'm set and ready for another rough semester ahead! At least that's what I originally thought. 2 programming modules, a math module, economics, and a presentation heavy module. But now that I think about it, it's really not the worst. I know people doing equal or worse combinations. Besides, that would mean I get to meet up with my friend everyday! Mega Yay! :D
Even more updates: The last 2 weeks did wonders as a rehab to kick my addiction. And we all know I'm talking about Element G here. I wouldn't say it's completely gone (coz I can't live without it!), but certainly things are looking much brighter. In terms of supplies, I have completely fallen out with Brand C. My once favored supplier, just fell off the face of the earth, never to be found again. Hence, I have made up my mind to cut things clean and not prolong any losses to both sides (well, mainly my side). It wasn't really working out anyways, Brand C's goals and objectives didn't really integrate well with mine. So, sad to say but our partnership has to end here.
On the brighter side of things, I have firmly cemented myself as a prominent customer of Brand J in these recent weeks. If all things go smoothly, I will expect to receive my constant supplies of Element G starting next year. My goal of course, is to finally land a contract for Brand J to be my permanent supplier of Element G. For this to work, I think both parties have to take initiatives and steps to make things happen, but we shall see how that goes.
Hmm... 2 weeks worth of blogging. So much to say, I can't really seem to get it all out now. I'm afraid I might actually have forgotten some of the things I wanted to say! But I'll post it up as soon as it comes to might. Over the course of these few days.... Provided I'm not gaming.
YES! Gaming! Ooooooh Yes! It feels sooooo good! I've been feeling so stressed and deprived these few weeks. Hard Slogging and mugging totally screws with your life. The best immediate outlet now is games! And outings of course. But noone has asked me yet. :( I'll have to make some plans I guess.
OMG! SUCH A FREAKING LONG READ! If you are still reading this, I congratulate you. I spent a super long time typing this. But it is already considered a brief summary of events in the past 2 weeks. There are actually more stuffz, but I either can't recall it now, or I am too sleepy to type it out.
Main Point of the post? EXAMS ARE FREAKIN OVER, MAN! CELEBRATE!!
The lyrics of this song is just so suitable for the occasion!
Throw it away
Forget yesterday
We'll make the great escape
We won't hear a word they say
They don't know us anyway
Watch it burn
Let it die
Cause we are finally free tonight
How so? Alright for you dummies, a quick explanation:
Throw it away: My textbooks & Notes
Forget yesterday: Forget about the stupid exams
We'll make the great escape: basically just taking a break or 'escape' from it all (school work)
We won't hear a word they say
They don't know us anyway: um... I guess it's all the 'nay-sayers' and basically anyone who looks down on you/you hate
Watch it burn Let it die: let's set those textbooks & notes on fire baby! Burn!!!
Cause we are finally free tonight: I really don't think I need to explain this... o.o
Cause we are finally free tonight!!!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
What it's here already?!!!
Aw man... So soon!
Oh well, best be done and over with it ASAP, so I can enjoy my holidays.
Though if I screw this up, I can't enjoy it in peace. This implies that I must ace it.
Yes, I'm talking about the exams....
Just a notice about my short hiatus from the digital realm. No need to worry, just going 'away' for studies. If you know me, you will know how to reach me. If you don't, just leave some comments, I will get back to them when I return.
Yep. So that means no updates for you guys. If you live in the same country as me, this is about the time when you are still doing exams anyway. Or finishing up the last few papers. If you enjoy reading my blog, or laughing at my silly perspective of life, please click 'follow' on the right bar. I got 0 followers. Damn sad. >.<
Anyway, it's time I entered my isolation phase at precisely 00:00 hrs (1 min more)
What does that mean?
It basically means 110% pure hardcore mugging, and nothing else. Cut off from all forms of digital devices besides my phone. (Which isn't all that active anyway)
I can do this. I believe I can. Most of all, I will do it for HER. Everything I set out to achieve, to score and to excel, I shall do it for HER. For our bright future together!
Now for some videos:
In chinese:
In Korean:
And of course, in english too!
Who is She? Well I don't even know yet. At least I'm not too certain. But that's the beauty of it right? It doesn't matter! As I strive to achieve my career goals and excel in my studies, I will always be waiting for HER to come along and come into my life. To hop on my little boat of love, sailing into our never ending bright future. At this point I'm not really the picky sort. Anyone of the suitable and compatible type will do. The most important factor is that we love each other.
Therefore strive I must! For the future!
I must become that hardcore study robot. Absorbing, processing and understanding all the information, answering all the questions. And of course, scoring the marks!
Until I return with pleasant news, this is The Observer signing off.
~ Tomorrow will be a bright future.
TheObserver
Oh well, best be done and over with it ASAP, so I can enjoy my holidays.
Though if I screw this up, I can't enjoy it in peace. This implies that I must ace it.
Yes, I'm talking about the exams....
NOTICE: I will be cut off from all digital devices from 11 Nov-27 Nov 2010. (Which means no blogging) ~ TheObserver
Just a notice about my short hiatus from the digital realm. No need to worry, just going 'away' for studies. If you know me, you will know how to reach me. If you don't, just leave some comments, I will get back to them when I return.
Yep. So that means no updates for you guys. If you live in the same country as me, this is about the time when you are still doing exams anyway. Or finishing up the last few papers. If you enjoy reading my blog, or laughing at my silly perspective of life, please click 'follow' on the right bar. I got 0 followers. Damn sad. >.<
Anyway, it's time I entered my isolation phase at precisely 00:00 hrs (1 min more)
What does that mean?
It basically means 110% pure hardcore mugging, and nothing else. Cut off from all forms of digital devices besides my phone. (Which isn't all that active anyway)
I can do this. I believe I can. Most of all, I will do it for HER. Everything I set out to achieve, to score and to excel, I shall do it for HER. For our bright future together!
Now for some videos:
In chinese:
In Korean:
And of course, in english too!
Who is She? Well I don't even know yet. At least I'm not too certain. But that's the beauty of it right? It doesn't matter! As I strive to achieve my career goals and excel in my studies, I will always be waiting for HER to come along and come into my life. To hop on my little boat of love, sailing into our never ending bright future. At this point I'm not really the picky sort. Anyone of the suitable and compatible type will do. The most important factor is that we love each other.
Therefore strive I must! For the future!
I must become that hardcore study robot. Absorbing, processing and understanding all the information, answering all the questions. And of course, scoring the marks!
Until I return with pleasant news, this is The Observer signing off.
~ Tomorrow will be a bright future.
TheObserver
Happy Birthday?
Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. It's starting to get really busy, and it's not gonna get any easier. Just a heads up, I'll be gone for the next 1-2 weeks. So no updates in awhile. You can click follow on the right bar to receive news of the latest updates. -->
Ya, regarding the title, it's not my birthday. My good friend's birthday just passed recently. Won't say who it is or which day it was exactly. I know better than to reveal identities. :)
Anyway, I hope she had a great time. I didn't really do much, but I did what I could with whatever limited time and resources I had. Bought a small token gift and made some unrecognisable bookmark. I dunno if she can tell it's a bookmark. It might have been thrown away by now! lol.
Either way, it seems all her friends helped her celebrate, and from pictures it seems rather fun and enjoyable. Man, I wish I was popular. My birthdays are stone cold boring, and I never get anything. :(
Oh well. I don't really think it's about how big or fancy the celebration is, or about how expensive and lavish the gifts are. It's about who actually bothers to come and celebrate with you, and actually sincerely wish you. Right?
Anyway, if you are reading this, hope you had a Happy Birthday! I know I didn't do much, but if you were free we could have probably went to grab lunch or something.
And so here's a song!
Happy Birthday! Hehe
Next up, exams!!! x.x
Ya, regarding the title, it's not my birthday. My good friend's birthday just passed recently. Won't say who it is or which day it was exactly. I know better than to reveal identities. :)
Anyway, I hope she had a great time. I didn't really do much, but I did what I could with whatever limited time and resources I had. Bought a small token gift and made some unrecognisable bookmark. I dunno if she can tell it's a bookmark. It might have been thrown away by now! lol.
Either way, it seems all her friends helped her celebrate, and from pictures it seems rather fun and enjoyable. Man, I wish I was popular. My birthdays are stone cold boring, and I never get anything. :(
Oh well. I don't really think it's about how big or fancy the celebration is, or about how expensive and lavish the gifts are. It's about who actually bothers to come and celebrate with you, and actually sincerely wish you. Right?
Anyway, if you are reading this, hope you had a Happy Birthday! I know I didn't do much, but if you were free we could have probably went to grab lunch or something.
And so here's a song!
Happy Birthday! Hehe
Next up, exams!!! x.x
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Weird Analogy...
Just thought of a weird analogy today...
If I am as 'God-like' as Superman (a.k.a big BLUE),
then my greatest weakness is the GREEN kryptonite.
However, the difference is that the fact that it is my weakness, I am so attracted to it.
Strange huh? Oh well, the analogy is just some random stuff that crossed my mind.
No logical reasoning or anything... lol =P
Heh, just had to google out a song to match the analogy. Curious curious Mr Observer.
Though the more I listen, the more I'm starting to love this song.
Meaningful lyrics + punk = My forte.
If I am as 'God-like' as Superman (a.k.a big BLUE),
then my greatest weakness is the GREEN kryptonite.
However, the difference is that the fact that it is my weakness, I am so attracted to it.
Strange huh? Oh well, the analogy is just some random stuff that crossed my mind.
No logical reasoning or anything... lol =P
Heh, just had to google out a song to match the analogy. Curious curious Mr Observer.
Though the more I listen, the more I'm starting to love this song.
Meaningful lyrics + punk = My forte.
Strange Feeling
The calm before the storm.
Strange Feeling.
Seems like the excitement and euphoria has been masked by
the reality of the looming exams.
Somehow I felt that it would have turned out more perfect.
Was I hoping for too much, or was it all a futile effort?
Tmr we shall see....
On a side note, HOLY SHIT I got tons of stuff to study!!!
It's only when I tabulated everything into Excel did I realise I'm so screwed!
Gotta prepare to grind it out!!!
But first.... I'm gonna have me some fun tmr! ^_^
Strange Feeling.
Seems like the excitement and euphoria has been masked by
the reality of the looming exams.
Somehow I felt that it would have turned out more perfect.
Was I hoping for too much, or was it all a futile effort?
Tmr we shall see....
On a side note, HOLY SHIT I got tons of stuff to study!!!
It's only when I tabulated everything into Excel did I realise I'm so screwed!
Gotta prepare to grind it out!!!
But first.... I'm gonna have me some fun tmr! ^_^
Saturday, November 6, 2010
It's really doesn't have to be so hard
"smile. there. wasn't so hard was it?"
That was my msn nick for the past few days. Actually I haven't changed it yet, so if you do spot it... Well, The Observer doesn't usually leak his identity so easily lol... On rare occasions you will get the chance...
Anyway, so what does it mean? How is it interpreted? That's always the point in posting these things right? Well, I kind of figured out through personal experience the great mystery all kids wonder about. Why do adults Always drink coffee every morning? 0.o
Well, coz we are damn bloody tired that's why! I was like a total zombie on Wednesday, plus had a mega bad hair day. Must have looked and acted like a monster. Shucks, super bad impression.
In contrast, I took a cup of coffee on Thursday and it totally boost my alertness! Was in an unnaturally high mood that day. Surprisingly, I didn't screw up since I attended my friend's class. Was in a jolly happy mood the whole day. Hopefully it saved some points from my bad performance on Wednesday.
Branching from that, we can move on to the explanation of the quote, which is the fact that I am learning to socialise more. I was surprised that for once, I didn't have any problems talking to new people I didn't know, from my friend's class. Well, it might be slightly different if I had to talk to girls... But hey, we take it a step at a time right?
So, conclusion? Actually there is no big secret! Just need to smile and laugh more, and insert jokes and funny actions here and there. Yep, just that and it will lead to am overall successful social experience. The hard part is to maintain it all the time. 24/7
But to be honest, the actual thing is not difficult, EVERYONE DOES IT! Therefore I can too! :)
I originally wanted to talk more about my fractured personality, but I think I shall not talk about it at the moment, coz I can still control it. If it worsens, I will probably blog about it...
Oh yes, now that some people that actually matter are following me on Twitter, I can't just post what I want there anymore. It used to be a place for me to talk to myself. So, I might just post random 1-liner or 2-liner blog posts as "Tweets" as and when I feel like it. Problem is I can't get Blogger to work with my SMS. Only works in the US. Screw that shit, so much restrictions to non-us users. Boo!
Oh, and new music video released by Taylor Swift! A song from here new album. Enjoy!
And the countdown begins... 3 days to THE-Day (read D-Day). =]
That was my msn nick for the past few days. Actually I haven't changed it yet, so if you do spot it... Well, The Observer doesn't usually leak his identity so easily lol... On rare occasions you will get the chance...
Anyway, so what does it mean? How is it interpreted? That's always the point in posting these things right? Well, I kind of figured out through personal experience the great mystery all kids wonder about. Why do adults Always drink coffee every morning? 0.o
Well, coz we are damn bloody tired that's why! I was like a total zombie on Wednesday, plus had a mega bad hair day. Must have looked and acted like a monster. Shucks, super bad impression.
In contrast, I took a cup of coffee on Thursday and it totally boost my alertness! Was in an unnaturally high mood that day. Surprisingly, I didn't screw up since I attended my friend's class. Was in a jolly happy mood the whole day. Hopefully it saved some points from my bad performance on Wednesday.
Branching from that, we can move on to the explanation of the quote, which is the fact that I am learning to socialise more. I was surprised that for once, I didn't have any problems talking to new people I didn't know, from my friend's class. Well, it might be slightly different if I had to talk to girls... But hey, we take it a step at a time right?
So, conclusion? Actually there is no big secret! Just need to smile and laugh more, and insert jokes and funny actions here and there. Yep, just that and it will lead to am overall successful social experience. The hard part is to maintain it all the time. 24/7
But to be honest, the actual thing is not difficult, EVERYONE DOES IT! Therefore I can too! :)
I originally wanted to talk more about my fractured personality, but I think I shall not talk about it at the moment, coz I can still control it. If it worsens, I will probably blog about it...
Oh yes, now that some people that actually matter are following me on Twitter, I can't just post what I want there anymore. It used to be a place for me to talk to myself. So, I might just post random 1-liner or 2-liner blog posts as "Tweets" as and when I feel like it. Problem is I can't get Blogger to work with my SMS. Only works in the US. Screw that shit, so much restrictions to non-us users. Boo!
Oh, and new music video released by Taylor Swift! A song from here new album. Enjoy!
And the countdown begins... 3 days to THE-Day (read D-Day). =]
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
About my day
Yay, another "About my day"!
Just means I have nothing to say, or I forgot what I wanted to blog about...
What can I say, typical school day. Left my house extra early today to be on time, but I now know it is useless to leave 30mins early. Because the buses will be packed full. I missed 3 buses because I couldn't board them, then ended up being late. WTF.
So anyway, I attended my final tutorial for 2 classes today. A weird and slightly (very slight) nostalgic feeling happened to come to me. It's not like I really enjoyed those classes very much also. One of them was the definition of "Chinatown", and the other one though good, I really wasn't catching much the whole time, coz I didn't do my homework... :P
Oh, right and I had my 2nd last lecture this morning. Reading & Writing of files. Took me awhile to get it, but in the end after asking the lecturer a few qns, I finally understood everything. Woots, talented programmer! I wish I could say that, but I kinda screwed that Practical Exam on Saturday, so I got no business claiming that title anymore. I'm super good at the theory paper though. It's the practicals that are killer to me.
Yup. That was pretty much it.
Boring huh? You bet.
Oh well you know what they say, tomorrow will be a better day... I hope.
On to a more important issue. Is there really an age divide? How serious is it? Am I getting old? Do I need to act younger?
Should I go for my friend's tutorial on Thursday?
Hmm... Many questions.
No definite answers, yet.
On a side note, was really pissed off when I saw some photos yesterday. Some people are really thick-skinned and shameless u know.
But I'm over that already. It's all part of the plan in option 2. Accepting things and moving on. That's life for ya. Life is too short, no time to dwell on unhappy things. Focus 110% of you efforts on having the most fun possible!
Just means I have nothing to say, or I forgot what I wanted to blog about...
What can I say, typical school day. Left my house extra early today to be on time, but I now know it is useless to leave 30mins early. Because the buses will be packed full. I missed 3 buses because I couldn't board them, then ended up being late. WTF.
So anyway, I attended my final tutorial for 2 classes today. A weird and slightly (very slight) nostalgic feeling happened to come to me. It's not like I really enjoyed those classes very much also. One of them was the definition of "Chinatown", and the other one though good, I really wasn't catching much the whole time, coz I didn't do my homework... :P
Oh, right and I had my 2nd last lecture this morning. Reading & Writing of files. Took me awhile to get it, but in the end after asking the lecturer a few qns, I finally understood everything. Woots, talented programmer! I wish I could say that, but I kinda screwed that Practical Exam on Saturday, so I got no business claiming that title anymore. I'm super good at the theory paper though. It's the practicals that are killer to me.
Yup. That was pretty much it.
Boring huh? You bet.
Oh well you know what they say, tomorrow will be a better day... I hope.
On to a more important issue. Is there really an age divide? How serious is it? Am I getting old? Do I need to act younger?
Should I go for my friend's tutorial on Thursday?
Hmm... Many questions.
No definite answers, yet.
On a side note, was really pissed off when I saw some photos yesterday. Some people are really thick-skinned and shameless u know.
But I'm over that already. It's all part of the plan in option 2. Accepting things and moving on. That's life for ya. Life is too short, no time to dwell on unhappy things. Focus 110% of you efforts on having the most fun possible!
Monday, November 1, 2010
How it began is exactly how it ends...
I know I haven't post in the past 1 or 2 days. Got project deadline chasing me. Incidentally I have gone MIA somewhat. Back to my old self. How is began is exactly how it ends... :\
I guess from this, you can already infer my 'decision' regarding the previous post? Well, if you for some reason can't figure it out, I chose option 2. Though I think I didn't describe the options clearly enough. Basically option 1 is not as simple as socialising. It involves dedicating and devoting all my energy and efforts into chasing for example, person X. Whereas option 2 I made look really bad, but actually just means the opposite of option 1, meaning I don't specially devote any particular special efforts. I can still do a option 2 hybrid, meaning I don't do anything special, but be friendly and take advantages of chances that come my way. Sounds easy? I can assure you it isn't.
For those who have read my older posts... Yes, that does mean Mr. Dark is back. Unfortunately for me, I am a coward and not strong enough, and I have to bring him back. But I do keep him on a leash now. Like I said, I am doing a hybrid style.... Hybrid Theory, hmm sounds like Linkin Park. Lol, random!
I guess I should move on to the reasoning behind my choice. Well, basically I chickened out and went for the safest choice. Option 1 involves getting the 'happiness' first, before becoming motivated to attain the success. Whereas option 2 is much more straightforward. Get the results, get the success and money, then easily get the 'happiness'. Though I don't even half believe in that statement, it does happen to be the most pragmatic choice.
I mean, it makes sense (and hopefully dollars, lol?). If I can increase my personal "portfolio" of achievements and successes, I will naturally seem more attractive. A two pronged approach of academic success and improving physical appearances (ok, still working on it), ought to make me irresistible. All that needs to follow is to improve on my personality a little and be more friendly. (also a work in progress) Hence, it is simply a matter of doing what I am familiar with, and using my strengths to cover up for my weaknesses, which in this case is the lack of experience with socialising.
Besides, from a selfish point of view... I will feel happier this way... Emptier, but happier. Was it a mistake in the first place? I don't believe it is. I am still very open though. If there is a sudden shift like say... In the next 7 days? Then I will instantly change my attitude and decision. I mean, if I seriously feel like I have a good shot, then why not? Or if the confession comes from the other party, all the better! Makes life easier for me, and all the happiness and paradise will follow. Pure heaven. Ooh, Ah....
*Self Slap!!* Wake up, stop dreaming! It is almost impossible for that to happen. We are not living in the 19th century!
Oh right, yep. Option 2 it is for now....
Crap! WTF! The timing so nice?! (And an msn message comes in.)
Wah... If you gonna keep messing with me, how do I decide? Argh...
Kidding, I like it! Be friendly and hope for chance remember? ^_^
P.S. on a side note, I really like this blog. It gives me a place to record my psychological developments and maturity. (or lack thereof -_-)
I guess from this, you can already infer my 'decision' regarding the previous post? Well, if you for some reason can't figure it out, I chose option 2. Though I think I didn't describe the options clearly enough. Basically option 1 is not as simple as socialising. It involves dedicating and devoting all my energy and efforts into chasing for example, person X. Whereas option 2 I made look really bad, but actually just means the opposite of option 1, meaning I don't specially devote any particular special efforts. I can still do a option 2 hybrid, meaning I don't do anything special, but be friendly and take advantages of chances that come my way. Sounds easy? I can assure you it isn't.
For those who have read my older posts... Yes, that does mean Mr. Dark is back. Unfortunately for me, I am a coward and not strong enough, and I have to bring him back. But I do keep him on a leash now. Like I said, I am doing a hybrid style.... Hybrid Theory, hmm sounds like Linkin Park. Lol, random!
I guess I should move on to the reasoning behind my choice. Well, basically I chickened out and went for the safest choice. Option 1 involves getting the 'happiness' first, before becoming motivated to attain the success. Whereas option 2 is much more straightforward. Get the results, get the success and money, then easily get the 'happiness'. Though I don't even half believe in that statement, it does happen to be the most pragmatic choice.
I mean, it makes sense (and hopefully dollars, lol?). If I can increase my personal "portfolio" of achievements and successes, I will naturally seem more attractive. A two pronged approach of academic success and improving physical appearances (ok, still working on it), ought to make me irresistible. All that needs to follow is to improve on my personality a little and be more friendly. (also a work in progress) Hence, it is simply a matter of doing what I am familiar with, and using my strengths to cover up for my weaknesses, which in this case is the lack of experience with socialising.
Besides, from a selfish point of view... I will feel happier this way... Emptier, but happier. Was it a mistake in the first place? I don't believe it is. I am still very open though. If there is a sudden shift like say... In the next 7 days? Then I will instantly change my attitude and decision. I mean, if I seriously feel like I have a good shot, then why not? Or if the confession comes from the other party, all the better! Makes life easier for me, and all the happiness and paradise will follow. Pure heaven. Ooh, Ah....
*Self Slap!!* Wake up, stop dreaming! It is almost impossible for that to happen. We are not living in the 19th century!
Oh right, yep. Option 2 it is for now....
Crap! WTF! The timing so nice?! (And an msn message comes in.)
Wah... If you gonna keep messing with me, how do I decide? Argh...
Kidding, I like it! Be friendly and hope for chance remember? ^_^
P.S. on a side note, I really like this blog. It gives me a place to record my psychological developments and maturity. (or lack thereof -_-)
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